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Divorced
Mother of 4( 3 daughters and a dog)
Full time Solider

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Glad To be Back
I know that I have been away for awhile because this past year has been so unpredictable. I trully thank God for keeping my life a little spicy every now and then. Exhale deeply. I just recently found out that I am expecting. I was told that after my last child that I could not have any more kids. I was not sad about the news. I have already 3 daughters and they are my world. I just knew that whenever it time for me to have more children I will have more. I went on about my daily business. I started noticing the symptoms which I was denying them. Finally, I had to break down and to verify something that I already knew. I recieved confirmation that I was ineed pregnant. Now, I think about Angel because she used to make fun of me and say that she would love to see me pregnant to see what kind of fashion trends I would make. Well, Angel I think you got your wish,love. I know that you are smiling and knodding your head saying that its about tyme.
What should I say
I have not post in awhile....I really can't tell you why honestly. I have been dealing with a friend who is preparing for her death. You see my friend Angel is in the last final stages of her disease. Our paths crossed during church. I always wondered why people whispered and hissed when she passed by. I noticed how beautiful she was but for reason she just could see it. I remembering asking her why she dressed like a frumpy old grandmother. I remember her smile and then her tears. She cried because I have been the only female close to her age that come up and talked to her like a normal human being. I looked at her and asked her why would she say that. Then she told me that she was HIV+. I looked at her and still repeated what I asked her about her clothes. I guess I am amazed her. She was speechless. I told her that my grandmother told me that. I told her that it still did not excuse her from this fashion fuax par. She laughed and then I told her that I have something that will give a new outlook on life. The only way I was going to give her this boost was if she agreed to spend a day with me. She did and then I showed her what she looked like. I told her that she was too beautiful to look like something throwed away. After three weeks of us spending time together, she asked me to help her plan her funeral and I accepted her proposal.
Now let's fast forward, time is winding down and she asked to write a poem for her and she would like to hear it before her final curtain call. I have writer's block and I have crying alot more because I am going to miss her so much. Her children. her family. all count on me to deliver words that right now has seemed to exscape me. Maybe I am thinking about it to hard.....or I be could stressing out. Either way I think it is time to go meditate with my daddy he always guides my hand when I write.

One Love